Sing with me

I don’t really understand the sadnesses
we walk away from
stolen and silent
we are afraid
of even ourselves
and when the lights change and we start
going again
where can we go
without our whole hearts?

The world is a sullen
river
and the worst parts
are
all the pieces we won’t admit
to ourselves
levees and their tidal waves
whirlpools
fissures

I lost my voice
one time
for years
and the silence held me locked
in my own damp dungeon
darkened

the whispers were like birds
flying
in circles

and the shadows were voices
that mocked me
coldly
with their tantalizing dreams
of light

I don’t remember what it was
that finally broke me
open

except that I remember
the taste
of long forgotten springtime wetness
and freedom

and a thing that never left my bones
started speaking to me
fiercely

its insolence tore apart
all those skillfully built boats
of excuses
for inertia
and the walls and dams of recluse
crumbed
under the weight of my desire

it only took one second
of admitting
for the river to break free
with finality
and a voice
that came back to me
over those long waters
started to sing
the most haunting and familiar song
-my voice
and it sang- I shall never more be silent

“like a tree planted by the waters, I shall not be moved”