collaborations January 31, 2006

the cycles never stop, rise and fall, rise and fall, breathe.  back to the top again, holding on to the fingertip grasp of my reality, my being. that one moment of crushed ice and warm steady hands held me above the wrecking waves, delivering.

 one thought of a second-in the air spinning will this be okay. the crunch and crash of flying glass, flying bodies of flesh and steel. falling full circle to the stark realization of birds, of the earth continuing in its melancholy joy.

looking down to see the hierarchy of squares-cut from the earth-the city life portrayed. obliterating the natural landscape like a grid on some math professors graph paper. slithering out to the abstract of a painters hand, deep rust reds and browns and greens.

ecstatic joy of giggles in tumultuous and colorful waves. delight in its sheer and unadulterated form. soaking in all the emotion of surprise. lost in the betrayal of unexpected elasticity, hovering in the gift of possibilities to come.

rachel with an r January 31, 2006

writing down the river

riding it down

down the flow and ebb of the writhing water

wringing and ringing of the early tides

rainfalls of realisms and rationalities

realizing the rigor of sliding through

same and insane waters 

for those who read…into things January 26, 2006

 An exert from college writing exercise experiences “tell an [untruth] that is true of how you feel (off the top of your thinking capacity)”

…ask me why i don’t post much..(hint: it has something to do with time…)

  I stand outside the gate, walls of iron and stone keeping me out from the simple pleasure of everyday casualties.  The guardsman, with a rather gruff look on his face, glances at me every time he walks by on his rounds.  Looking almost piteously on as he assumes my reason for being here to be anything but valiant.  I search for a small pinhole of light, something that will give a clue as to how I can intrude on this fortress of irony.  Seeing nothing I gaze away, to the hills and their serenity. ‘There,’ I say to myself, ‘I will go back to my safety and solitude.’  These places of walls and hostility cannot suffice.  I turn, walking slowly, gravely away.  ‘Another day’, I say, ‘I will try the gate again.’

i am moving January 20, 2006

my mind, my body, my stuff, my ideas

i offer an old poem to shed new light on this night

 

it’s not a secret anymore

mind off all the junk
eyes off all the junk

I love you
Like the rain washes in the new spring
Intense and welcoming
Bringing becoming being

Like the sunlight in September
Bright hot refreshing
Extreme
Because it’s been cold already

Lost in the beat
Music sound love
Soul

I love you
Like a mother kissing a new baby’s feet
True
Sweet soft soothing
Intense
Hooked
Believing

I love you
When it comes it’s here
When it melts
We can fly
Like a rainbow
Don’t leave the sky blue
Remember the color

I love you
Like tears
On the soft cheeks of another
Person being
Real
Beauty in the form of a water droplet

I love you
Like a smile in the night
Bright
As starlight painting pictures
Images
Visions in the sky

Dark
Yet bright as diamonds
in light rays
and just as hard

I love you
Like the whisper of the wind
Calming
Embracing
Guiding
Arms of wisdom
Wrapping delicate unbreakable
Unbinding

Following trails of warmth
And coolness
Feeling
For the expanding path

In the moment
Always
Like the sound of the beaten drum
Reverberating
I love you

 

remember my roots January 11, 2006

the beginning, in which, when my thoughts ring clear as the night hill air i see myself standing.  steady
as the mist clears, falls away down to my feet, down the mountion side, reveiling the truth, stark and beautiful, sometimes surprising, in an instant i am home
‘prayer is a direct link to peace of mind and perspective, it reminds us of who we are’

my own thoughts:

prayer is such a powerful and mind blowing thing. in this life we as people percieve things in the visual, in how they feel, with our senses, and generally and naturally there are boundries that go along with percieving life, boundries of time and boundries of space. but prayer, prayer does not succumb to these boundries. prayer is one of those energies that can walk through walls, that is not held in by the boundries of this present life, that can reach any place it is needed and change things. if nothing physical, at least the contours of the mind.

i only write when i have something to say January 8, 2006

i cleared a space on the floor

a place on which to rest my feeling, meditations, realizations

to let destiny be born

finding the carpet ever waiting, wonderment springs at the irony of it all

i don’t really like carpet, or floors, or apartments, or ceilings

or stuff that collects itself without much questioning or hesitation

grateful, yes, to have so much given to me

yet

sometimes, on days of mist and rain

i feel choaked, living a dry and pointless sort of existance

away from the realness of the earth on my bare feet

the wild air, so fresh in the sunlight hidden

i crave to be in that existence

where the boxes and structures of this societal persistance

are burned in cooking fires on some distance shore

to feel the exuberance that tiptoes into my dreams at night

in the daytime, amidst piles of paperwork and scholarly thinking

i long to run on the green grass alive

duck beneath the trees of an ancient forest

learn from the wisdom of all the simple profound things

locked away and hiding in everyday actions of living

character and charisma, equinimity

bareness and suffering, beauty, of life lived in connection with life

freedom from this long chain of events disconnecting the soul of the universe

from us highly educated and refined human beings

i long to give myself

every atom of my mortal being

to the places of hope, where strength and energy are needed

understanding, similtaniously, that i am in need of these places

of hunger and war, pain and bloodshed

tears

to create a difference

only take in what i need to stay alive

and share my blessings

my soul my strength

all that i possess so freely

to go where it is needed, where it can grow and give more

to show me the way to understanding, the way to teach this ailing world

of compassion and heart

good will and true love

that gives instead of taking

brings peace instead of turmoil

awakes the sleeping integrity inside the soul of man

only then, when i give my life, can i truely be alive

grrr…uploading, silly me stop stressing January 4, 2006

A picture of me…created by me…

ahh..photography i love thee

like morning dew the mourning buds of grass upon which it rests

when the rain lays vacant and sleeping in clouds of sky high slumber

as the day sun rests beneath murky deep blackness of conspiring layers

of smoke, steam, ash, containing every imaginable layer or shade of grey

shifting toward enlightenment of sun and release of long awaited water love

…let it rain

~goodnight~